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Is There Such a Thing As Having Too Many Sex Partners?

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Is There Such a Thing As Having Too Many Sex Partners?

Guy friends would go on about “this slut” while giving me kudos for being a “good girl.”

I was a virgin until 23. It was a conscious choice – sort of. I just hadn’t dated a man that I trusted enough to give up my vagina. Once I did have sex I had sex. I explored my sexuality with boyfriends, booty buddy’s and even exes. But I never went full-on buck wild.

PLUS: Losing My V-Card, Sex & My Conservative Upbringing

One night stands never interested me; I’m just not made to sleep with a man and never speak to him again. Plus, there’s the number thing. No longer a virgin (and I was proud of my virginity) I didn’t want too many notches on my bedpost. So, I held back. I made men wait even when I wanted to sleep with them first week into dating. I didn’t want to be judged. I didn’t want to be considered easy. I wanted the men I dated to respect me. In my mind that was tied to my number of sexual partners. If I had too many, I would be considered a slut.

And I was right. I used to hear guy friends talk about “this slut” and “that hoe” and was often prasied for being a “good girl” by the very men that disrespected women. My theory, that men don’t respond positively to women who have too many sex partners, is also proven by science. A recent OKCupid survey discovered than in 2005 70 percent of men and women believed there is such a thing as having too many sex partners.

In 2005, I was in my early 20s; that’s when I hung with guys who blabbered on about promiscuity. But things have changed since then. The same question was asked in 2015; 52 percent of men and women now believe it’s no big deal to sleep with Tom, Dick and Harry.

MORE: I’ve Slept with Multiple Men and I Lied About It to a Guy

That’s great news. Not because I’m leaving Boo and pouncing on every hot guy I see. I am over 35 and there’s no need for that. Plus, I don’t regret my choices. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything because I was selective with whom I slept with. (Well, most of the time.) It was my choice as it’s your choice.

So, if you want to have a one night stand every weekend or have one sexual partner your entire life, it shouldn’t matter to the masses. If you’re concerned about being judged on your “number,” don’t be any more. People don’t care as much as they used to and you shouldn’t either. Go buck wild if that is what you choose to do. I won’t judge – and neither will half of America.

Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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