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My New Twitter Account Brought All My Exes to the Yard

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My New Twitter Account Brought All My Exes to the Yard

Oh, my first follower! I clicked on his or her profile. It’s my ex.

For years now (and I mean YEARS) everyone has told me to get a Twitter account.

“It’s great for networking!”

“As a writer, you need the connections Twitter can offer!”

“How else will you know the color of Kylie Jenner’s new lip kit?!”

They’re right, yet when the time came I could not find the urge to sign up and log on. I was dreading it! It’s another social media account to manage and engage in. Besides, what if no one cares about my tweets? Or life in general? What if no one follows me?! The pressure!

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A little past midnight on a Sunday and I finally shook it off and created my account: picture, bio, phone number. Voila! Minutes later, I received a notification. Oh, a follower! MY FIRST FOLLOWER! Excited, but also assuming it was from a default Twitter account (like Tom from MySpace), I clicked on his or her profile.

Username: Jose.

The name sounded a bit familiar, but it’s a common name so I didn’t think much of it. I kept scrolling, scrolling, scrolling – holy crap – it’s my ex.

Why did my ex, who I haven’t spoken to two years since our breakup, follow me on Twitter 5 minutes after I created my account? Correction: we didn’t officially break up; he kind of just ghosted me.

I received another notification. OH CRAP! HE MESSAGED ME. IS THIS FOR REAL?

“Hey, it’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

UH! WHY DO YOU CARE? I wanted to reply. Instead, I messaged him back and we caught up on school, life and internships.

“Are you seeing someone?” he asked.

This didn’t sit right in me. Yet I said I wasn’t seeing anyone. I was curious about his intentions.

“You know we never slept together…” he responded.

WHAT? We haven’t spoken in two years, man! You can’t just spring that on me.

“I know it’s inappropriate to lead after that, but do you wanna hang out this weekend? Grab a drink or something? But, don’t jump to conclusions. It’s just a little drink.”

Uh, yeah, I know. And there’s nothing wrong with a “little drink.” But it’s him. This guy is the problem. I don’t trust this “little drink” business. He ghosted on me in 2014 and he has yet to tell me why or apologize. So I declined.

Same night at around 1 a.m. I decided to get to know Twitter when I received a new message.

“Hey there.”

It was another ex who ghosted on me three years ago. This Twitter thing is a curse!

“What are you doing tomorrow? Are you free for coffee?”

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I declined and logged off, convinced that Twitter was to blame. Since then I haven’t been on Twitter much. Honestly, I’m scared. Who else will find and message me? Only time will tell.

Christina Cardona is a hopeless romantic and a total Queens girl. Over the years she has realized that mostly all experience is good experience, and there is a lesson in everything. She plans to share her dating faux pas and help women of all ages understand that sometimes life just happens - and that's ok! When she is not persuading others that knows girls can do anything boys can do, you can find her in a yoga class or walking neighborhood dogs.

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