Most people wouldn’t expect me to be a traditionalist at the very core. My talk of pepas™, penes, and vajazzling differs from the pristine image of Suzie Homemaker, who dons a flowing, ivory wedding dress and lives behind a white picket fence with her 2 children, yorkie, and professional husband. Yet, I desire all those things. I want a pene that will rock my pepa™ in the bedroom and provide support when I experience the ups and downs of life. I want a traditional relationship, where the man is strong and handy. A man’s man. An understanding man who is comfortable with my constant, logical, and rapid way of communicating, who embraces my fiery Aries nature yet realizes that it is a defense mechanism. My traditional man will realize that the only way to love me is to release the soft me, the vulnerable me.
Aside from these characteristics, he will respect my decision to wait till marriage before cohabitation. I have always felt this way. I believe that, yes, we learn more about our mates when living together. But the mystery is also lost when married. I may be alone in this thinking; according to research, 70 percent of couples are cohabiting before marriage these days. Why? Because people believe that you don’t really know someone until you live with them. There has also been contradicting reports regarding marriage success pre-cohabiting. Past research suggested there were significantly higher divorce rates for those who live together but are not married, but now it seems it doesn’t affect the success rate of the marriage whatsoever. However, the same University of Denver study also suggested that people who live together may marry for the wrong reasons, or not marry at all.
So what does a traditional woman do? I say we follow our instincts. As studies suggest, a marriage will last just as long if you live with your husband-to-be or not. I find solace in this and understand why there is no real advantage, either way. What matters is that we marry the man that we love; the man that respects us and supports us emotionally; the man that we connect with and accepts us for who we are – the good, the bad, and the ugly. As for me, I will continue to dream and hope for my traditional manly man, with sensitive eyes and a genuine spirit, who believes in my principles and unleashes my tenderness.
Because living together before marriage is just not part of this traditional girls repertoire, pepa™ talk and all.