Signs. They are all around us, and, if you believe this mumbo jumbo, then you also believe The Universe is behind it all. I imagine she (yes, she is a she) lies atop a half-moon, planting messages and manipulating circumstances to lead her followers on Earth. As if swinging in a cot in the Dominican Republic, she surveys the midnight blue sky, calling upon the stars to grant the wishes we make while wishing on a star.
Lovely, that Universe.
Still, at times it feels as if The Universe is conspiring against us, more specifically me. In the past, signs have led me to believe that there is something more to be explored…in a broken romantic relationship, at a dead end job, in a nonreciprocal friendship.
The following is an example of how The Universe pulled down her panties and shat on me.
The summer without Elijah was difficult. We lived in different states and I imagined visiting him by the shore on weekends until we reunited at Rowan University in September. The beach visits never happened. He ended our relationship way before Spring; on November 25, 2005 to be exact. Still, I had high hopes for us. He told me he needed time but “eventually wanted to get back together.” This isn’t over, he reaffirmed while walking out my door.
And so I believed.
One day that very summer, I walked out of the downtown 1 train, fighting back tears because I missed him so. I took a different exit. Once outside, I realized I was on the corner of Elijah Street.
I believed the Universe was communicating with me, sending me a special message to keep the faith. And I did for years, even when in a new relationship. The Universe, I reasoned, didn’t want me to give up! I owed it to her to stick it through until he stuck by his word and we’d eventually get back together. Did we? We tried, but I quickly realized the second time was not the charm, nor the third. So was it a sign? Was it a mere coincidence or did I just misunderstand the message?
I am not quite sure. But I do know that “she” exists. I feel her watching me as I make decisions that please her because they empower me and make me a better Sujeiry. As for Elijah and I, we were meant to be…lovers, friends, partners…for a moment. He was a lesson and the signs were clear.
Get off on Elijah Street. Get off on Elijah Street. The sign was there.
And now I know to listen.