Being alone scares many women. Often times women who are scared of being alone fear singlehood. They become serial monogamists, entering into romantic relationships immediately after a breakup. They look for love and affection from another and another.
But at what point do serial monogamists become completely dependent to that love and affection? I spoke with a woman that defines herself as a serial monogamist to explore this constant need for companionship and commitment.
Q: How do you feel when you’re in a relationship?
A: It just feels natural, I’m just so comfortable in relationships. Even when they start to get rocky I’ll stay in them because I don’t want to start something new.
Q: What emotions overcome you when you are single?
A: I mostly feel lonely, depressed and unloved. At this point I’m looking for anything to fill that void.
Q: What’s the longest you’ve ever been single?
A: No longer than seven months. I felt free in the beginning because I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship…it took me a while to realize how bad…and about a month had passed until I started to get frustrated about being alone.
Q: Where do you think this feeling comes from?
A: I guess it would have to be because I never felt that love or affection from my dad. I remember being little and wanting a hug and he wouldn’t hug me. He was pushing me away so now I constantly look for it. When I was able to find someone that would share that affection with me I liked it. When I was in my first relationship, I was overwhelmed with this feeling of protection and… love.
Q: Would you define yourself as being a serial monogamous? Meaning being in a number of long-term relationships?
A: Yes, I would definitely admit to always needing to be in a relationship. I always need someone to occupy or fill a void, and it can’t be from more than one person because I need that one on one connection with someone. I need to know I belong to someone and someone belongs to me and only me.
Erynn Castellanos is an aspiring radio broadcaster with an opinion on all things love. Currently going through the trials of most twenty somethings, she balances life and relationships and knows what she wants. Her articles on LoveSujeiry.com tie in her personal experiences while exploring the early stages of dating and the single life.
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.