Today it begins. I am off to Altus Cafe in Washington Heights, where I will meet my prima hermana for Happy Hour drinks. No, I’m not trying to get my cousin in the sack.
For this Dominicana, los primos no se esprimen.
What I will do is strut my fine pepa™ into this fine establishment, and some others during my Broadway bar hopping run. Donning a long, tie-dyed, sea green maxi dress and silver sandals, I will be admired, and, with the help of a special perfume, also hit on by a fine gentleman.
The perfume is called Pure Instinct and is a product from Passion Parties. I once was a consultant but am no longer waving dildos and vibrators in the face of eager women. It was fun, but life has become very hectic, for all the right reasons. The only vibrators in my possession are those in my toy box.
But back to the perfume!
It carries pheromones, which makes it a sexual attractant. You dab it anywhere you would a perfume and its scent matches yours. The chemicals get to work. To men, you smell much more alluring, particularly to those who like your natural scent.
I’m dousing that bad boy on as we speak!
So wish me luck! Hopefully, Pure Instinct will work its magic and lure a man into my arms for good. If not, at least I will have another story to tell.