In past relationships, I sought to win a man’s heart by playing games and special tactics. My strategies were well plotted like that of a trainer in military boot camp. However, unlike the fellows in the military, I accomplished my goals through seductive manipulation. Instead of clawing my nails onto a man’s chest and pushing him to the ground so he can SHUT UP AND GIVE ME 50, I slithered in effortlessly, like a snake gliding through grass.
I began with a lasagna. Cause they say a man falls in love through his tummy. My lasagna was so cheesy and so saucy they’d lick the red, warm droplets from my mouth. Dessert was the next course. I greeted my opponent with see-through lingerie. There we were, eating din din and, oops! A nipple slips out of the already sheer material. That’s when I’d drop and give him… a 50. Licks that is.
Sex was the final move of my game play. A penis is usually no match for a vagina. Once they dropped their boxer/briefs to the floor there was no other protocol in place. There were occasions, however, where a stuffed tummy and satisfied penis weren’t enough. That’s when my impatience took hold, transforming my generous spirit into an uncontrollable rage. Just like a drill sergeant spewing commands, I would yammer away at the men I hopes to win over. Splotches of pink covered my caramel complexion and the man under attack collapsed. See: he ran away.
It’s difficult to kick a learned behavior, which is why I was still playing games with Elijah. Though we were spending six out of the seven days of the week together, and I had met his Mami, I wasn’t convinced I had won his heart. Though he held my hand and kissed me in public, I was filled with doubt as he began to throw his own tantrums – occasional rants about his ex-girlfriend who broke his heart four months before we met on the Rowan shuttle. His biggest explosion occurred while we were driving to his home on a Thursday night.
“She was so unmotivated,” he growled.
I remained silent. I was used to Elijah discrediting her.
“She’s never going to do better than me!”
His hands gripped the steering wheel while I maintained my composure. I was tired of hearing about her. He was with me. She shouldn’t be a factor, but is she? I bit my lower lip, terrified of asking that very question. I gazed out the window and focused on an upcoming mailbox, removing all distractions from view. But it was hard to ignore his rant as his voice rose and Elijah revealed every detail of their break-up, including his suspicions that she had cheated. My insecurities kicked in. I decided to begin my mission.
The next morning Elijah woke up early and left me sleeping. I took advantage of his absence, grabbed my hot pink, body-hugging nightie, and waited for him underneath the covers. I shut my eyes when I heard footsteps approaching the door. I turned to lie on my right side, tightening my abs and poking out my booty. My come-hither pose was in full affect when the door opened and closed. The steps grew closer and I felt the mattress sink with his body’s mass. The mattress creaked as he leaned on his left side, lying beside me. His breath tickled my lips before his fingertips traced my right cheek. He then whispered, “I am so happy you’re here.”
My eyes fluttered open. There he was. Still stroking my face and watching me with tender, loving eyes though he was unaware of what awaited him underneath the covers. I looked away, overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment, and faced the ceiling. His touch, which had disappeared as I pulled the cottony covers to my nose, found me again. I managed to face him and surrendered to his gaze. Dropping my tough girl act and releasing my fears, I revealed myself only in mind, heart and spirit. We remained in bed, talking for hours, and I let myself love without trickery.