For years, my relationship status and liaisons went unnoticed. It’s not that I wanted to keep my relationships a secret; I just wanted to eliminate any additional drama and live authentically in the moment with whomever I dated at the time. I’ve seen many relationships in ruins because too many people were involved and knew too much. I rather destroy my relationships on my own terms, thankyouverymuch.
So I found it refreshing to date a guy who had similar feelings on keeping his private life private – until I noticed that he took things to a really odd level.
New Guy often refused to pick me up at my place. On the off chance that he did, he’d wait for me down the block. New Guy was also different when we were out in public. Behind closed doors, he was attentive and affectionate; in public, he would stand at arm’s length from me, always careful not to touch me or hold my hand. When we would eat out we’d sit opposite each another – never close. There was no hand holding or sweet random kisses on dates, and he often preferred to pick up a meal via a drive-thru or he had me wait in the car.
I finally confronted New Guy on it and asked what was going on. His response was lackadaisical at best. With a deep sigh, he said, “I told you – I don’t like people in my business.”
I couldn’t believe he dismissed his behavior with ten simple words.
Though I understood his need for privacy, I wondered: can a relationship flourish if it’s kept under wraps?
No, I couldn’t. And, after he acted like we were damn near stranger at a local event that we attended seperataly, I had enough of his shit and questioned his motives. New Guy wasn’t sorry for his behavior; he actually looked annoyed.
“I told you, I don’t like people in my business and if that means I have to take a little precaution, then so be it. This is how I am. So you can take it or leave it.”
There it was – no compromising. No understanding. No sympathy. I was simply left with an option. Though I really liked him, the choice was obvious: I bolted. Now he could be as private as he wants to be – alone.