A few nights ago, I dialed the number of a woman who knows how to play the game. This 30-something Dominican fireball has been with her live-in boyfriend for 13 years and counting. Y mas, she has the mentality of a tigress, intimidating her prey with intense eyes and egotistically induced ploys.
Why would I call such a person? Aside from her being my prima hermana, I reached out to my sister from another mother for a little boyfriend help. Yes, even the 1st Lady of Love goes ballistic.
Blame it on my abandonment issues.
I dialed her number as I stood outside, waiting to cross St. Nicholas Avenue and waving away Dominican gypsy cabs. The phone rang only once before she picked up and I blurted, “I need advice.” She listened as I expressed my feelings without fear of seeming foolish. Questioning a boyfriends love comes second nature to me and she knows this. She also knows my blunt, fiery Aries temperament leads my mouth to flap without hesitation, spewing words before processing my thoughts. And so my prima hermana calmed me down. Once I finished venting, she also led me through the steps on how to play “the game”.
- Step 1: Never let him see you sweat. Instead, be nonchalant with the man who is the cause of your disappointment. This means no waterworks, drive-by’s, and definitely no nasty Facebook wall posts. It’s all about maintaining our dignity and pride in tact.
- Step 2: Don’t pick up. When the man in question hasn’t made enough attempts at spending quality time (as my boyfriend did when I called my cousin), ignore his calls. It is an old school approach that has a simple purpose: let him miss you. As women, we love to be with the men we love. Most of us give up our girl nights where we grinded and drank the night away and rearrange our lives to fit him in. We miss our boyfriends and want one-on-one time to build intimacy. And we aren’t afraid to show our affection and love. Men, on the other hand, usually slack when they know how their mujeres feel. They have us so why put in the same effort as when they were chasing our pepas™? Not picking up is a little reminder that we are busy individuals who aren’t always accessible. And that’s when they will call two, three, four times in on hour. That’s when you will see them sweat.
- Step 3: State your needs a little at a time. This is difficult for me as I just want to state what I feel when I feel it, no matter who it may offend or what damage it may cause. But I get it. Men become overwhelmed with our talks about”feelings”. We have a right to express ourselves, especially when upset, but we also need to pick our battles. Instead of bombarding him about this and that when he first walks in the door, return to step 1. A lot more detachment and less spurts of anger and violent attacks on his pene will do him good. Eventually, he will want to know what’s wrong, and that’s when you tell him calmly and matter a factly how he fucked up 🙂
- Step 4: Fuck his brains out. Those were my prima hermanas words exactly. Make him scream and cum like he’s never hollered and cum before. Remember all that anger you’ve been holding in because of pride? Take it out on his penis. How about all that pent up frustration? Ride the wave toward relaxation. This way he will remember and appreciate who he has by his side. A strong, confident, independent woman with a killer pepa™ who doesn’t need him to be fulfilled.
That’s what my boyfriend learned when I decided to pick up the phone and let him have it. He called and I made an adult decision to calmly express my feelings and desires, little by little as to not overwhelm or terrify. It’s not in me to play “the game”. I’m just too blunt. So much so that I told my boyfriend I was considering not picking up. He was relieved I chose the honest approach but it also served as a wake up call.
Sujeiry ain’t no one to fuck with.
Now, our small bump in the road is a clean, paved street. As for the next bump, we’ll just have to see how I handle it. No matter what I decide, with this new bag of tricks at my disposal, I am confident I will be fine.