When it comes to love, I am picky. I have a certain physical type. From time to time, I also dabbled in bad boys. And I want a man who is educated.
Wanting specific traits and a pedigree doesn’t make me a selective elitist. As a woman with a Bachelors and a Masters degree, I want to be with a man who can relate to my experiences, has a strong work ethic, and is intelligent and ambitious. Not to say that those who do not hold degrees are less than, or not as hard working or smart. In my experience, the difference in educational level just matters.
I have dated men who work in the service industry, particularly bartenders. They had dreams of opening up their own establishments. I’ve even dated receptionists, administrative assistants and students. However, when I dated these men, I found there was a disconnect.
Many felt threatened by my big dreams and accomplishments, and said so.
I don’t mind being put on a pedestal…if it doesn’t get in the way. Men can have egos. They see women climbing the corporate ladder, or in my case, the entertainment and media ladder, and question their own success. Once a man begins to question his manhood (it truly is tied to how much money they bring in and how they are viewed as providers) he stops focusing on the relationship and the love.
So I ignore the comments of others who advice me to lower my standards. However, I may be the exception to the rule. A new Pew Research study discovered that women are the ones who are “marrying down” educationally.
“In 2012, 21% of married women had spouses who were less educated than they were—a threefold increase from 1960.”
Among college educated newlyweds with postgraduate and advanced degrees, 39% married a spouse without a college degree.
What is a woman like me to do? I am still sticking to my standards. I have been told to date so-and-so even though he doesn’t cater to my needs. I have been lectured about how I am too picky. Now I realize that I have every right to be. I didn’t always think so. That’s why I dated bad boys and bartenders (sometimes they were one in the same). That’s no longer the case. I know that I am a hot commodity. I shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t see that, appreciate that and respect that. And men shouldn’t either.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Deapeajay.