I recently watched one of my favorite Sex and the City episodes via rerun extraordinaire, TBS. Carrie sat perched on her chair, her arms extended and fingers tapping away on her Mac as she questioned the idea of soulmates. Does everyone have a soulmate, and if so is it about timing? What happens if we meet our soulmate and it doesn’t work? Did we miss our one shot at true love or will another soulmate replace what was lost?
Like Carrie, these questions have often plagued me, especially after the swift ending of my (non existing) relationship with Mr. G. I was convinced he was my soulmate, the man I would marry and was meant for, but Mr. G remains with his girlfriend and we are no longer in contact. So what was it that I felt for Mr. G? What do I feel for Mr. G now? My feelings have definitely not extinguished. In fact, it guilt’s me to admit I still think about being his girlfriend and potentially his wife. No Sex and the City episodes have changed my hearts desire. Neither Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha or Miranda have lifted the heavy, sorrowful burden of wanting someone who is unavailable.
So are me and Mr. G meant to be? As days turn to weeks and weeks to months, I’m afraid not. And so ‘I can’t help but wonder’ what will be of my love, my soulmate.
The Hookup was Sujeiry’s dating blog on Latina.com. To read past entries, go to Latina.com: The Hookup.