No one gave me a manual on how to date again after breaking up with my long-term boyfriend. And, let’s be honest, dating can be a total nightmare. How long do I wait to move on? How do I act when meeting someone new? Online? What is the right terminology when dating but not in a relationship? Manfriend? Fling? Buddy?
As a newly single mujer, I was completamente perdida. Which is why I had an epic fail the first time back on the dating scene.
Seven months as a single woman and I still hadn’t given any man a chance. I basically said, “Adios,” to every guy who attempted to get close to me or led him right over to the Amigo Zone. Then came Kevin. Out of nowhere, he broke through my walls. Of course, I tried pushing him away multiple times for fear of catching feelings and getting hurt. I was also scared that he’d run once I unleashed my madness. But he stuck around.
The catch: he was also fresh out of a relationship. We were basically two fools trying to figure it out. A recipe for heartache.
At first, things were as cute as can be; we held hands, sent sweet text messages, and spoke about what could be. Little by little, I let my guard down. It was a wrap; I had caught feelings. Four months and two ridiculous arguments later (one because he wasn’t the first to call me on my birthday and two, because he said he would celebrate his birthday with his family and ended up hanging out with his friends – and didn’t include me!) something had changed. He pulled back and stopped calling as much; I withdrew due to a fear of rejection. We went days without speaking. We stopped holding hands. The red flags were everywhere. But I couldn’t walk away. Instead, I waited for him to get it together and kept making excuses for him for not investing the same effort. I didn’t want to seem needy. Although I could feel there was something missing, I was just too afraid to admit it.