All is fair in love and war…but you shoudn’t kill each other either.
I was once a feisty young thang in relationships. I won’t bore you with the details just give you some relationship advice. Let’s just say that if I recounted the countless times that I embarrassed myself (and my significant other) this post would become a novel. As a matter a fact, I published a book called Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles. It’s a raw and personal account of my past relationships. I share the mistakes that I made with past loves and lovers. When relationships began to go awry, I’d argue, like many other couples do. I’d loose my cool and my confident demeanor crumbled. I would stop fighting fair. I became another woman and this ultimately ruined my relationships.
The thing about relationships is that they are never perfect. At one point or another you and your partner will go through it. Whether it’s money troubles, infidelity, emotional distance or a lack of communication, no couple is immune to the ups and downs of love and commitment. There is, however, a way to deal with the negativity without rocking the boat too much. As women, we have to learn to deal with troubled waters without sinking the ship with dramatic antics and ultimatums. Here are seven things you should stop doing when there’s trouble in paradise, and you know you need to fight fair.
By attack mode I literally mean attack mode. Some women that I know (I won’t name names, I tell ya!) become aggressive when tense. Any sign of trouble and they raise their fists. Some aren’t physical but they holler and yell. If that’s how you cope with issues then you are no longer listening. When there is trouble in your relationship you have to be able to communicate your needs and feelings without growling. Anger isn’t conducive to improving your relationship.
Taking No Responsibility
It’s human nature to play the Blame Game when we are upset. When things are going terribly wrong in our relationship, we don’t want to take accountability. It’s his fault there’s a communication breakdown. He should initiate sex, not you. And why doesn’t he take you out anymore? Look at what you are doing wrong and how you’re also contributing to the problem. Trust me, you are!
Read the rest of the relationship advice on Mommynoire.
Tell us. How can you argue better?