Your boo just told you that they cheated on you. Now, what do you do? Do you sob your eyes out, turn into a screaming banshee or choke the life out of him?
When I discovered that I had been cheated on, my first thought was, “What did I do wrong?” And then I thought, “I want to kill him.” I blamed myself. I convinced myself that the other woman had something I didn’t have. I was at a downward spiral.
Looking back now I wish I would’ve handled myself differently, if only for the sake of my sanity. I wish I would’ve realized that I wasn’t the one to blame.
One of my closest friends feels the same. When her college boyfriend admitted to cheating on her, she said she felt “disrespected, followed by anger, betrayal and somewhere towards the end, hurt.” Like me, she wished she felt relief to be rid of a disrespectful loser. Instead, she clung to anger.
“I was angry not because he cheated but because he had a blatant disregard for my feelings. He lied to me multiple times before when I asked him point blank if he was cheating.”
So, ladies, if he ever cheats here are some ways to cope with the approaching storm.
- Breathe! Holding your breath or losing control of your breathing will lead to fainting or an anxiety attack. You need to be awake and responsive during this confrontation.
- Avoid the blame game. If you know you did nothing wrong, which you probably didn’t, do not blame yourself for his mistake. You can be the perfect woman and if a man wants to cheat, he will. He’s the one that needs fixing.
- Decide whether you can give him a second chance. When faced with the truth, you and only you must make the choice to stay or leave. No one can tell you what to do with your heart. If you do stay, remember that trust must be rebuilt and that it may never be the same relationship again.
Kattya Servellon is a 23-year-old lifestyle and relationship blogger and beauty guru living the life in NYC. Get to know her on her blog, ByKattya.
Photo Credit: Floyd Brown on Flickr Creative Commons.