I’ve always been a little iffy about Mami’s man. He’s moody, very picky and extremely sensitive; it’s like he’s a woman on her menstrual cycle. But that’s not the worst of it: This dude is a straight up momma’s boy.
In the early stages of their relationship, Juan talked about his mother all the damn time. Mami just thought he was home sick because his mother lives in the Dominican Republic. Mujer al fin, she tried comforting him by cooking him homemade meals just like his mama would make him. You would think that Juan would jump for joy and kiss my mother’s feet for her kind gesture. Instead, he criticized every…little…thing. Peeping Juan stood by the entrance of la cocina, creeping and criticizing her every chef move.
Like when she makes him white rice, which should be as simple as boiling a pot of water and adding rice into the caldero. Simple, right? Not for Juan. Mami has to wash Juan’s rice and let it soak like his momma does. If Mami refuses to listen, he calls his mother in the Dominican Republic so she can guide my mother step by step. What a baby!
Juan also stares at my mother while she irons his clothes – to make sure she does it exactly like his mother. When she tries to do it her way he shouts, “Asi no es que Mami lo hace!”
But wait, there’s more! The sexy perfume my mother bought, he wanted to buy it for his mother. The lotion she rubs her body down with, he bought it for his mama.
Am I wrong for thinking the dude fantasizes about his mother? I think the hell not.
So while they say it’s common for boys to be more attached to their mothers, I’ve never seen anything like this before. Mami’s efforts are just not enough for Juan. And she tries. She’s hardworking, dedicated and does everything to please him. Plus, she’s beautiful! Juan just needs more. And by more, I mean he wants a mother…instead of a lover.