A few years ago, I met a tattoo artist who turned out to a flake. We were set to hang out and he stood me up. He gave me a lame excuse but I decided to give him another shot. We made plans again. That time I waited for him ’til 2am before turning off the lights and going to bed.
We fell into this pattern and I assumed I was the problem. He never offered a legit explanation. He was inconsistent and I felt humiliated. He must not be into me, I thought, and his rejection depressed me. The Offspring’s “Self Esteem” became my anthem. Finally, after talking to mutual acquaintances, I discovered that he did this to all the girl.
Perhaps you can relate because you’re in this situationship. Not sure? Here are three telltale signs that the guy your seeing is a flake:
He ghosts on you.
He is actively texting you one minute and disappears mid-conversation. At any given moment he vanishes for no apparent reason. If he texts back, it won’t be for a few days. Or worse – you don’t hear from him and text him instead. Thing is he doesn’t text back. You call and he doesn’t pick up the phone. What is happening?! He just ghosted on you because he’s a flake.
He stands you up.
As I mentioned, my flake would initiate plans and not show up. This is typical of The Flake. If something better comes up – a night out with the guys, a good movie on TV, another girl texts him – he forgets you and his promise to spend time with you. What’s worse: The Flake does not call to cancel plans. So you’re just left waiting for him.
He cancels plans at the last minute.
If he does cancel plans, it’s always last minute.When dating a flake, you also constantly have to call to confirm plans. If he answers, he might cancel your big night. Whether he says he’s broke, his friend needs his help, or that he’s sick: he will always have an excuse.
This sounds like he may not be that into you, right? Maybe. There are guys that flake on every girl they meet. Some boys just can’t commit to anyone or anything – not even a date. So, if you meet a guy that exhibits any of these signs, run! Run like the wind! It’s a pattern in behavior and he’s the only person that can break this bad habit. Focus your attention on someone who is stable, and takes you and your time seriously.