I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times I’ve been invited out for get togethers with my friends and asked one of my girlfriends to make sure there was a guy there for me. There’s nothing like the good old-fashioned set up in a world that’s bombarded with technology. I always like meeting a guy organically because I personally enjoy getting to experience little things, like the tenor of his voice, his smile or laugh, and what kind of topics he gets really passionate about. It’s all about that natural chemistry!
I recently got introduced to a guy I really hit it off with. Same interests, handsome, smart, easy to talk to; we even support the same pro-football team – which is crazy since I’m a southern gal and he’s from the east coast. So the morning after I thought about my next move and I was all over the place! Did I make enough of an impression for him make the first move? Should I have asked for his number when he left the bar? Should I just contact him on Facebook? So. Many. Questions!
Some ladies have more confidence than others and will want to take control so they don’t have any regrets. Others – like me – would rather sit back and wait nervously. Obviously I wanted to go around and ask some of my closest friends what their methods would be if they were in a situation similar. And so I did!
Rachel Reyna, a 22-year-old recent college graduate agrees with my style. “I would have my friend do some matchmaking but I would always wait until he made the first move,” she said. Another friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, out and out stated, “I would definitely wait for him to make the first move!”
On the other end of the spectrum is Teresa Taitt, a single and ready to mingle 23-year old, who would rather take control and have no regrets. “I would take a leap and ask for his number if I really feel like he is worth it” she said.
While the general consensus is to not take the reins, I’m beginning to feel a little weary of that approach. This may be the more popular approach because we don’t want to overreact and become desperate. Some guys might get a little freaked out. And us females for sure don’t want that. Let’s face it, sitting back and waiting for him to initiate just makes us jittery. We’ll end up bothering the hell out of the mutual friend who made the introduction.
So what would be the happy medium? Teresa Taitt had a really good solution. She told me that it would be easier on both ends to let your girlfriend know that you are interested and to give him your number if she feels it would be a good idea. You took some initiative. You were slightly braver by letting him have your number, but you aren’t obligated to make the legit first move. Also, don’t become upset if he decides y’all would be best as friends. It probably might be better in the long run. Just ask your friend about that other guy that caught your eye.