When we were young and had Valentine’s Day parties, we handed out cards to everyone in class. The sappy cards were usually accompanied with sugar-filled, hard-candy hearts; they’re a Valentine’s Day staple. Most people, including me, don’t even like them. However, they sell like crazy every year. Maybe it’s the cutesy phrases. Who doesn’t want to read “your
cute” or “be mine” on a cute little heart?
The thing with candy hearts is that their messages of love exclude singles. Candy hearts should allow us to express a barrage of messages to our secret crush, booty call, or that guy we’re casually dating. They may sell even more if they added phrases that relate to singles and today’s dating world.
For example, if I could give a box of Candy Hearts to my current secret crush, it would probably say: “please notice that I think you’re sexy and make a move since I’m way too shy.” That would never fit onto one of those itty bitty hearts, but here are some things we wish were scrawled across the top of those hard, sugar tarts.