Recently, I watched a man and a woman lick each other’s faces like cats in heat. It wasn’t a pornographic film. It was just another day riding the NYC subway. That’s where I witnessed a pair of lovers pleasuring themselves like a pair of porn stars. My eyes may never be the same again.
I get it. New couples can’t help but put their love and longing on display (now singing: every day, every day, every day – thanks Melissa Gorga). When a relationship begins we can’t help but rip the clothes off of our papi chulo – even if he ends up booty butt nekkid atop a grassy knoll in Central Park.
So yes, lovers, continue to get yo’ freak on. I bless thee to hump on thee day in and day out. Just not in my presence. And more on the ways couples should stop grossing singles out.
You know the couple. The one who thinks everything is funny and can’t help but giggle at the slightest things. It’s sunny out! Giggle. My ice cream is dripping! Giggle. We missed the bus! Giggle. Shut up, love birds. There’s nothing more gross and annoying than grown adults acting like elementary school students.