Dreams. If interpreted correctly they can help you win the lotto, discover that someone is pregnant, or even predict death. At least that’s what Mami and Abuela taught me.
From a young age, I remembered Mami and Abuela freaking out over dreams they had the night before. I used to think they were crazy, but it soon began to rub off on me. One night I dreamt that my teeth fell, and it was quite painful. When I ran to Mami and shared my nightmare she immediately called Abuela and they started dissecting every detail of my sueño. It was then that she said my dream meant someone close to me would die.
How dramatic can Dominicans be? I thought to myself. Two weeks later a family member passed away. I’ll admit that my relative’s health was on the decline, pero it must have been that dream!
Since then I’ve believed dreams hold meaning. Which causes issues in my relationship with Stephen. Sometimes I have these wild dreams that he is leaving me and I wake up angry because he left me. Tragic! How dare he?! So I scold him in real time. He thinks it’s completely absurd, while I can’t help but think, what if this is a sign? This must be foreshadowing.
Once I had this very dream for a week: a recurring dream that Stephen was leaving me. It was utter torture. It was a nightmare. Maybe I was going insane.
Luckily, Stephen would reassure me; he wasn’t going anywhere. It felt great to hear that but I sometimes still mentally prepare for the worst, for the time when those dreams become reality.
I know this isn’t just jealousy. These dreams of being betrayed, of being left is a legitimate fear. I don’t want to lose Stephen. I don’t want my crazy to push him away. He keeps reassuring me that he isn’t leaving me. He keeps reminding me of his love. And I love him for it. The more he does the less I dream about a life without Stephen. The less those dreams haunt me while I am asleep and awake.