Commitment

Dollars And Love: Women Are Paying for Engagement Rings

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When it comes to love and marriage many millennial women are breaking with tradition. They are paying for more dates, household bills and even buying their own engagement rings. But, is this taking it too far? Should we let men be men when it comes to proposing and that wedding bling?

Celestine, 27, of Brooklyn thinks it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to buy her own engagement ring. “When you’re married you will have the same bank accounts, so it’s shared money between the both of you.” Besides, it is the 21st century. If a woman can afford to pay for it, why not? That’s what Sky, 29, of the Bronx did. Recently engaged, she and her fiance chose to pay for the ring with her money. “My fiance and I share all our money, so when he wanted to buy me an engagement ring he used my card but picked the ring out himself,” she explained. “If you’re sharing the money [already], I don’t see anything wrong with you technically buying it [the ring].”

PLUS: Buh Bye Wedding Traditions: I Want to Marry MY WAY!

There are other millennial women, however, whom despite being very liberal disapprove of this new age proposal. Ana, 25, of Staten Island, nearly fell over when asked if she would buy her own engagement ring screaming, “ Absolutely not! My man should definitely be the one to pay for my engagement ring.” And it doesn’t have to be the biggest or most expensive ring either. “I’m all for girl power and being financially independent – but, come on!”

Ana also feels that a woman who buys her own engagement ring may emasculate her man. “Men are taught to provide for their family,” she continued, “if [my man] can’t afford to buy the ring I want or if he isn’t a part of the process, he might feel useless.”

So, should men and women return to the “good old days” or is a compromise in order? In the end, it’a all about what works for the couple. “Some men don’t mind if their women pay and some women actually feel more comfortable doing it while others don’t,” Christina, 30, of Brooklyn opined. “But who are we to say what’s right or wrong?”

MORE: Women and Money: A Relationship That Speaks on Self-Worth

Exactly! So, whether you prefer your man to take charge or you rather take the lead financially, remember: an engagement ring is just a piece of (very expensive) metal. What’s important is to focus on what money can’t buy – a loving, healthy relationship and marriage.

Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.