Commitment

The Prenup Clause: Cheat and You Pay

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Recently, I found myself daydreaming about my future husband. In my daydream I pondered whether I would sign a prenuptial agreement. I don’t have many assets and I don’t foresee myself inheriting any cash, so why would I need a prenup if my husband wanted one? I know! A cheating clause! Not only would a cheating clause protect me but it would protect him too!

Finally, I found the fix to safeguarding my future marriage. And I decided to share my epiphany as a Facebook status update. 

“Dear future hubby, I want a prenuptial agreement. If any party commits infidelity or a sexual act of any kind outside of the marriage, it’s grounds for divorce. Also, you must pay fees for my emotional distress. Put your money where your mouth is, boo.”

As soon as my fingers hit that send button on Facebook, you would have thought I started WWIII. My female Facebook friends loved the idea. Erika, 29, from Florida feels like it protects both parties, stating that “if [a man] doesn’t sign it he clearly doesn’t think he can be faithful and shouldn’t be in a relationship.” Roxie agrees and believes it should be part of every prenup. “If you’re going to sign one anyway,” said the 26-year-old Floridian, “why not put a cheating clause in there?”

PLUS: He Cheating via Social Media? Signs He Might Be

The men, however, hated it so much you would have thought I forced them to sign a prenup right then and there. Don, 36, from North Carolina thinks a cheating clause stems from a lack of trust. “That’s too extreme…and why would you ever think a man is going to cheat on you? It’s basically assuming that all men cheat and shows you don’t trust men in general, yet alone the person you’re with.” And if you don’t trust your future husband, Lorenzo, 44, from Maryland doesn’t believe a cheating clause in a prenup will help matters. “A piece of paper won’t do anything to bring trust into a relationship.”

Men were so upset with me that many even private messaged me on Facebook. A memorable zinger:
“Clearly you’re not the person for me if you think you can’t ever trust me.” Wait, are we dating?!

So, what now? Should I abandon the cheating clause and hope my future husband doesn’t abandon me for another woman? 48-year-old Aaron’s advice: be a freak in the bedroom. Because if “you meet that marital obligation there shouldn’t be a problem.” Right.

Listen, I get it. No one goes into a marriage thinking, “well, let me go ahead and plan for this divorce in a few years.” We all want to get married and for it to last forever, but there are no guarantees. At the end of the day, I am all for empowerment; and prenuptial agreements empower men and women to take a stand and ask for what they want and think they deserve in case of divorce. So bring on the marriage and bring on the prenup – but most of all, let me see that cheating clause!

Jeanine is a self-proclaimed dating mishap expert. This Pisces often dips her creative toes in arts and culture, and has a passion for spoken word, playwriting, creative writing, and lyrical writing. As a native New Yorker living in Orlando, FL, Jeanine has a unique perspective on city and beach life. Her extensive Sociology and Higher Education background allows her to see dating, love, and women’s empowerment issues from various viewpoints as she adds a twist of humor and lessons learned to her stories.