Eta Aficio! Can The Feeling of Lust Last in Relationships?
I’ve always loved hard. Harder than most men have loved me, with the exception of Boo. In the beginning of our relationship, he was aficiao (Dominican slang for “passionately in love” or “in lust”) but does that ever last?
Now with Evan and all of life’s changes and stresses (I got sick after having the baby and lost work because of my poor health, so we’ve struggled with finances and our values and ideals regarding money), our relationship isn’t what it used to be. He doesn’t say he loves me every day anymore. He doesn’t open my car door. He doesn’t show me daily affection, like hugs and kisses.
He’s not “aficiao” anymore. He loves me. But I miss that feeling.
I miss loving hard and being loved that much harder. I miss the little things he used to do, like writing post-it’s with cute or silly notes for me to find all over our apartment.
I miss dancing in our kitchen to the hum of the refrigerator.
I miss us just being silly.
I miss the newness of love.
Can we get it back? Can that feeling of being aficiao last, or does it fade over time like the scars of our youth?
I don’t feel it has to be this way. You can, I can, be aficia/o. It’s all in our efforts. It’s all in communicating. I’ve been honest with Boo about my needs – what I miss and what our relationship currently lacks. Now, it’s time to put in the work and act like the lovers we were and we can be…again.
Do you or do you have that still with your significant other?