Love Stories

Love Trips: Text Sex

By  | 

When I think of text sex, I picture a beefed up man typing on a cell with one hand and stroking his pene with the other. This image isn’t very arousing, especially when my imagination takes it a step further and, all of a sudden, I visualize his cell dropping and his face contorting into an ugly growl. He howls, twitches, finally orgasms, and all I want to do is scream “Eeew!” del asco! It’s like a scene out of a horror movie! But instead of chasing me down with a machete he uses his erect penis as a weapon and pokes me to death…in the eye.

What’s even worse about text sex is that every man that’s seen you naked expects you to partake in text sex. It’s an awful assumption because to have any type of technologically induced sex (vibrator use included) there has to be intimacy. There also has to be respect and appreciation. You have to be a good boy to get my coochie in person and through the phone! You have to be a man who calls instead of texts, who takes me on weekend getaways instead of talking about taking me on weekend getaways, who is consistent, dependable, understanding. Pretty much everything Elijah, my ex-boyfriend from graduate school who I allowed back into my life, wasn’t.

PLUS: Are Sending Nudes The New Selfie?

So you could imagine my shock when Elijah canceled my second trip to visit him in South Jersey, and days later had the audacity to ask me for a sexy picture. A sexy picture of me, the woman who had tried to see him when all he was capable of was ditching plans. I gasped when I saw his text. My mouth flew open and stayed open. This is the kind of picture he probably wants, that pervert, I thought while typing a reply. My fingers pounding the keys.

“You already have two pictures of me, remember? The ones I gave you when we broke up. Unless you threw them out.”

He replied instantly, smoothly. “I still have those, babe. But I want a new picture. Those are worn.”

I paused. My resolve and anger weakening due to his “babe”. Maybe I can send him a picture of me in a bikini, I thought. All of MySpace had seen that picture. Why not Elijah?

“Ok, I will send you a few now.” I sighed at my too-quickly faded anger. I pulled my laptop off my desk and onto my lap. I found a few nice pictures of me from Aruba where I showed off my tan legs and also added the bikini picture. I send Elijah the email and waited. A few minutes later I received another text. I clicked on the enveloped icon, anticipating a pleased response but received this instead:

“Not sexy enough”.

“What the fuck?!” I yelled to myself in disbelief.  I slammed my fingers on my Blackberry’s keys and mustered a non-threatening reply.

“And what exactly do you consider sexy?” I exhaled and send.

“A pic of you in a towel, in the shower or with lingerie…a full body shot not just your face. And I want a picture for my phone so take one of yourself with you BB.” Elijah demanded.

I was appalled. He didn’t want a sexy picture of me. He wanted a picture that oozed sex. A picture for him to carry on his cell phone so he can whip me out and whip his penis whenever he pleased without needing me there…next to him…in South Jersey. My gut churned. Does he just want the fantasy and not the real deal? Why would he come back into my life for that? What does he want?

I didn’t know the answer to any of these questions but I did know one thing. I was not sending Elijah a seXXXy MMS text of me. He’d done nothing to deserve me. Not the real me or the digital me. And yet he felt entitled to all of me. Not this time. This third time around I would be in command and have some fun. I picked up my cell and typed:

MORE: Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles

“Sure, I’ll send you one. But it will be a surprise. When you least expect it.” I send him the coquettish text, a wicked smile spreading across my face. Elijah would have to wait a long while for that sexy text. He would have to wait a long while to partake in any type of sex with me, if at all. I was finally standing up for myself and was determined to keep my sanity and my self-worth in tact. Besides, I need both my eyeballs.

Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on Latina.com, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.