Relationships

One Man Shares His View On Monogamy

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Is monogamy a realistic lifestyle choice? Are human beings destined to have multiple sexual partners simultaneously? My opinion? Monogamy isn’t realistic, but it’s a choice.

Monogamy goes against our natural, carnal instinct to seek variety. But it becomes an easier choice when you’re with the right person. You choose monogamy because you and your partner want to create an intimate space in the world that you can call your own.

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I also think monogamy is more natural to women and that men are better able to compartmentalize love and sex. This is why some men can physically cheat while not necessarily being dissatisfied with their relationship. For women, however, a sexual connection is often fostered through the strength of an emotional bond. For example, when women aren’t communicating or bonding emotionally in their relationship, they often have a harder time being sexually fulfilled, and might seek that connection and “emotional rush” in other places. This is why it’s more common for women to engage in emotional affairs.

Monogamy as protection

As for me, monogamy is a way of protecting the innocence of a connection that I share with someone. Once the innocence of that connection is tarnished (cheating, deception, relationship-shattering lies) the union is compromised As a hopeless romantic, I want to savior the purity and innocence between me and “my person.” We make a commitment to each other, to continue to nourish and foster the purity of our connection together.

Monogamy is that cherished space that is solely for you and your partner to share. Which is damn well intimate.

Monogamy is sexy

Some people might say that monogamy is restrictive, but I actually think it’s sexy and romantic. If you want to be with other people so badly that you’re willing to breach monogamy, you probably shouldn’t be in that relationship, or in relationships at all. Often those who step outside the confines of monogamy just stopped trying. They gave up. Or they just couldn’t resist the lure and seduction of having something that feels brand new again.

But I have news. That bright, shiny, new thing is going to soon become an old thing.

Monogamy and infatuation of new pussy

The infatuation of new pussy is one of the main relationship destroyers from the male point of view. But, that old pussy he’s “stuck” having sex with now was once new pussy. So he may think he wants new pussy, but that new pussy will also become old pussy. The pursuit of new pussy (sexual novelty) never ends. So a guy shouldn’t give up on old pussy and go hunting for new pussy; he needs to figure out how he can make that old pussy feel new again. Besides, we all have to grow up eventually, make a choice, and stick to it. If we don’t, we run the risk of endlessly chasing something that we will never catch.

Seeking constant sexual variety is like riding a Ferris Wheel while on crack. It doesn’t stop moving until you vomit and are disgusted with yourself.

Don’t let monogamy restrict you.

The confines of monogamy are only restrictive if you and your partner treat it that way. Go and experiment, try new things, make monogamy a fun and exciting adventure, rather than a dead-end route to sexual frustration. Let monogamy inspire you. It’s when you stop trying, caring, and working to make monogamy exciting that it becomes painfully difficult to maintain.

The truth is that monogamy is open for interpretation and it’s easier for some people than others. Every person and couple will have a different set of expectations that works for them. So find someone who views love and monogamy in the same way you do.

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It will save you a lot of the hassle and emotional and moral turmoil due to accepting a relationship that goes against your nature. Ultimately, couples will choose to set-up boundaries that work for them. We’re all adults after all; it’s up to us to make our own rules. And up to us to follow them.

Jamie Rea is a Canadian entrepreneur, relationship writer, and comedy writer who loves to combine humor with advice on various topics in dating and relationships. He is a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, so it’s not surprising his dream girl has a big sense of humor and an even bigger heart. He currently writes about relationships for multiple publications across Canada and the US, including Made Man, Elite Daily, and Mode Media.