I am dating a guy who is shy. He is so sweet but I need some umph. He just doesn’t have any game.
I am used to men who have swagger and are confident. I like my shy guy. He treats me so well. He is sensitive, thoughtful and kind. I feel terrible wanting to dump him because he isn’t smooth and confident. So, what should I do? We just started dating. Should I give him more time?
The Trouble with Shy Guys
Dear The Trouble with Shy Guys,
I get wanting to feel that “umph.” A confident and smooth man is sexy. He knows what he wants (or at least he appears to know what he wants). He makes women feel desired and protected. Shy guys are usually not aggressive. So I can see how you feel that his kindness is not enough.
So, should you dump him? Yes and no.
If he has qualities that you are seeking in a partner, give him time to open up and show you his manly man side. But only if you have feelings for him. If you’re not interested in him romantically, cut him loose. You don’t want to lead him on and crush what seems to be an already tender ego. If you do like him and enjoy his company, boost his confidence by communicating your desires and reassuring him. Tell him that you’d like him to be more complimentary and assertive. Show him that you are into him, and that it is okay for him to open up and lead like a man. Once he’s comfortable being himself he may just surprise you.
Love strongly and wisely,
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/csb13.