Since the age of 14, I have been in relationships. I have never been single for more than three months or so. As soon as I break up with a guy, and I always do the breaking up, I am in another relationship. The next guy is usually a guy that I met while in the former relationship. I don’t cheat physically but I do emotionally.
I know I have an issue. I mean it can’t be healthy right? To always be in relationships? It seems like a weird problem to have and I know you have other women who wish they had all this love but I find myself going through the motions. I fall hard and then fall out of love quickly only to repeat the same mistake with the next guy.
So, as odd as it sounds I need relationship advice. I am finally single now, but how do I stay single?
Dear Relationship Addict,
The first step to change is acknowledging that there is an issue. And you’ve done that here! So kudos to you. You’ve also managed to stay single! You haven’t said for how long, but you did not jump into another relationship like you normally do. That means you’ve already begun to break your pattern. Give yourself some props, woman!
As for how to stop the pattern and be single for a while, that’s going to take some will power and reflection. Ask yourself the following questions:
Why do I jump from guy to guy? Why am I always unsatisfied in relationships? Why do I sabotage relationships by finding a new guy while still committed? Go back to when this pattern began. What was happening in your life? How did you feel about yourself?
The answers to these questions will give you the root cause. That’s when you will begin to truly understand why you continue on with this pattern. Be honest with yourself about your addiction to monogamous relationships and to emotionally cheat on your partners.
Now, you have to follow through with action. You can do all the work internally yet make the same decisions. You are single right now. This is the best time to practice what you say you desire and make choices that align with just that. It’s easier said than done. I know. Breaking patterns is a process. But once you do your life will change for the better. You already know that. You’re already on your way!
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